Allies talk: Ruzanna Aslikyan, social worker, a mother

It is widely accepted in our society that we have parent-centered and child-centered families. But when we deal with sexual orientation, I don’t know why we forget that our children are the ones in front of us, and we begin to express the most violent and intolerant attitude – forgetting that we are the ones giving birth to those kids.

Both professionally, and with my own experience, I try to develop my parenting skills in the process of raising my child. I am guided by one principle: to be humane and human-centered. We shall not treat our children as objects that shall fulfill all our unrealized goals or desires, but to look at them as human beings and try to raise them more humane and intolerant.

When your child talks about sexual orientation, when they come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, nothing changes from that. They are your same children. Take a little time to listen to them. If you listen to them and try to understand, hatred will come out from us, and we won’t leave our children alone.

When parents do not listen and cannot understand their children, it brings big misfortunes. By kicking them out from home or locking them inside we won’t accomplish anything good. All that it will lead to is that our children will be psychologically pressured, their psychology can be affected, which can become a cause for suicide, or they can lose their sense of personality and individuality.

That’s why I just ask you to be tolerant, to avoid hatred, and be with our children.

This material was made possible through the support from the “Allies in Action” program by COC Netherlands and ILGA-Europe.